batabatuta blog

“I refuse to wait for you any longer. There was a time in my life when I would have saved myself for you alone. In my heart no one else would do. I belonged to no one else but you. That isn’t me anymore. My heart finally caught up with my brain and I finally see that all of it was just nothing but fantasies, dreams that only I wanted. There is no hope for us, as each day; it becomes clearer to me that it was never meant to be.”

“I refuse to live in the past…I will forever treasure our shared lives but it will not control me any longer, I wont let it ruin who I was and who I am now…”

“I refuse to fight. For several months now, I’ve been fighting for our friendship and for us. However, no matter I do, I seem to be losing. Whenever I feel as if I’m going to buckle down because of the pressure, the thought that somehow may be you are fighting for us to, keep me going. But months have passed, I haven’t heard from you. Somehow I finally realized that I was the only one fighting for us. I was doing everything I could possibly can for someone who was and never will be mine…”

“I refuse to believe you didn’t love me anymore. Somehow, someway, I know that I have a place in your heart. You may not be able to love me the way I wanted you to love me but I know that even for just a second, you did love me…”

“I refuse to loose hope. It may not be you. It may take me forever to find him, but I will. Tears have been streaming down my cheeks for too long but not anymore. I have learned so many things because of this. Things that I felt should have been taught to me some other less painful way but somehow I don’t regret it. It made me stronger. It made me look inside myself and really see who I really am and not who I thought I was. Hope kept me going, the hope for better things to come, the same hope that one day I will finally be over you”…